...no, not of the world, but of my world as I have known it for the last year. I am sitting at my desk, with a bare room around me (having already packed?! who is this person who actually packs in advance? No worries, I will probably still pack all my clothes at the last minute.) Yesterday was my last day of "vacation", which was brought to a good end with a weekend on the lake with my best friends here, who have been with me since the beginning. Now I have one more week of work, and then I fly up and away and across the ocean. My heart is tearing a bit at the seams, it is so full. I feel like there is a death-match going on inside between all the conflicting emotions. On the one side, I am so thankful for this time here, and cannot describe how blessed I have been by the friends who have welcomed me in. At the same time, I cannot put into words how much I will miss them and yearn for their company again - oh, yeah, the sadness emotion just gave my other emotions a ringer, time to go to the corners and regroup - and...back at it again. As I was saying, the amazing friends here make it extremely hard to leave, even when I know I will come and see them again. On top of all that, I must say goodbye to the two little girls who have worked their way into my heart. Despite long days that tried my patience, I treasure the time I have had with them, getting to know them, learning to love them, and teaching them new things. That goodbye will probably be one of the hardest I have ever had to make.
Then on the other side, the excitement at seeing my dear friends in Philly again, the joy of being with family, and the adventure of starting something new keeps me going and striving towards the next thing. Through this whole process, I have learned to take it one step at a time - not rushing too far ahead, and also not trying to hang on to what is in the past. One thing that I have always struggled with - putting myself out there and looking for jobs, and most of all, being persistent in that search - has been a huge place of growth. I have applied to more jobs than I can count - in both German and English - and stayed on top of the whole process, even when it felt like nothing was happening. I am still keeping my eyes forward, even as plans shift and my future is uncertain. I am hoping to be in Philadelphia until the new year, but as I now know, that plan could also change. I pray, and ask for your prayers as well, that I would simply stay as close as possible to God's side, walking step-in-step, and not straying out of His presence, because that is also where I will find the strength and comfort to keep going on.
And now, I will say thank you, for all who have kept in touch and cared to see what my life here has been all about. I appreciate all the words of encouragement and the questions that showed your interest in my life here in this world. I hope to also return that encouragement and interest, and stay invested in these new friendships that I have begun here, as well as those which I already have and want to stay involved in. May God's blessings follow you in every day, and His mercy refresh you each morning. Peace.
